I made something...

It may seem silly, but since Kelly passed, I haven't been able to do anything crafty. I've had a million ideas. But inevitably, I get to the part where I would have called her, told her, brainstormed with her, planned with her, laughed with her. Then I'd get off the phone, energized, feeling so confident and embark on making something wonderful! Slightly dramatized, but you get the picture. And since I don't have my sounding board/cheerleader anymore, the idea just fizzles and I miss her.

Well, this weekend I had a break through. Nothing significant happened. Maybe it's just that enough time has passed. Or maybe its that this idea can't fizzle. I have a birthday I must plan for a very special 4 year old fairy and a craft-blocked mama won't do. 

This was the first step. I made this:

I have 8 more to make. They are going into goody bags along with other woodland-y things. It's not great, but 4 year olds aren't big critics. I'm just glad I made something. I forgot how it feels to see an idea materialize. It felt good. It felt right. And when it was all finished, I sat it on the table and then I missed her.

memories...

 I have been going through photos. 

I wanted to share a few. 

The Famous Salt and Pepper Costumes sophomore year of high school 

(The one in the yearbook at least has my eyes open!)

1993 in my college dorm room

Oct 2001 9mth old Maxie and I visit Kelly in Fort Collins

Kelly's Wedding May 2006 (KT was the junior bridesmaid. Me, pregnant, of course)

Dancing her wedding night away...

Why does Kelly always look so good and I look like such a goof? The header is from '94. Kelly's boyfriend at the time was taking a photography class and made us model for him. He sent me a stack of pics a few weeks ago. A precious treasure. I had forgotten about our "photo shoot". I wish there were more to show you. There are so many holes in this timeline. But, I offer it, holes and all, because as sad as it makes me, it makes me happy, too. 

Happy to see us so happy. Happy to see her so healthy. 

Happy to know that it was all real.

I miss you...