Friday, October 8, 2010

For You...

The picture above was taken 9 years ago, maybe to the day. A nine month old Maxie and I flew into Colorado so you and I could celebrate our birthdays together. So very much has happened in such a short time. It seems so unreal. So wrong. Today (like everyday) I missed you and can't get this song out of my head. After sending you a depressing message on Facebook and subsequent mini breakdown at 4:30 this morning, I have done my best to be happy (except when I almost gave in to the overwhelming urge to kick over the Breast Cancer sign at the door of the grocery store with the two smiling ladies and the caption, "We beat it", while ripping all the pink ribbons to shreds).* Not overly successful. But I did manage to do a few other things that I know would make you smile...
Peanut butter and bacon sandwiches (a staple in your junior high lunch box),
 Apple picking... ok so I didn't actually go apple picking, but I looked longingly at my neighbors tree and wished I could pick them,**

and your mama's "apple of my eye" bundt cake with caramel sauce. I have never had a bundt cake turn out so perfectly. Thanks for that :)

Happy Birthday Buff!! 
I love you.

*I am thrilled for Cancer survivors!! Truly. You know my grandma is a survivor. It just stung a little today. You understand.

** The cake was not made from stolen apples :)


  1. My sweet Kandyce~I hope I've told you enough how truly grateful I am that you found your way into not only Kelly's life, but ours. You are a remarkable friend, sister, and mother and I know how much you meant to Kelly and how very proud she was of you. You will always be a part of our other words, you're stuck with us.

    I have tears in my eyes over your tribute and relating to the feeling of kicking the 'Pink Ribbon" display. You have the gift to make me laugh, even if it is at myself. i love you, xoxo (your other mother)

  2. always love and a huge hug x

  3. OH KAN!! I try SO hard to avoid this blog now. There has been so much pain recently that the heaviness just doesn't go away. When I look at this blog it reminds me how much you are hurting and how far we are from each other(physically). I can't NOT cry, even just at the pictures. BUT I read this one and WOW!! You are amazing, your gift shines, you are doing exactly what God has gifted you to do. It is SO beautiful how you do this SO well. Your ability to express your love and make us ALL feel it. I LOVE YOU!!!